Addiction, thy name is Guitar Hero. Help me.

Okay, so…I have a problem.

Oh, my god.

Catherine and I, finally succumbing, got Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock, Guitar Hero: Aerosmith, and Guitar Hero: World Tour.  And if we didn’t have to go to work, we wouldn’t have left the house since last week.

Now, I’ve obsessively played some video games before.  As a junior high-aged young fellow, I played The Legend of Zelda and Zelda II until my eyes fell out, packed their bags, and hitched a ride to someone else’s head.   But that was then.

I don’t know what it is about this game that is so unspeakably compelling.  But fortunately, my wife feels it, too.  We’re both slavering crazy people over these games right now.  We can’t do shit on the higher levels, but if these games are fun to play alone, they’re a freaking blast to play with someone else regardless of how capable we actually are.   Though we’re listed in the online database (Catherine may not know exactly HOW bored I was today at work…), we would no doubt be shamed and we don’t care, because we’re hiding under our band name.  We have sat and played Guitar Hero from the moment we’ve gotten home from work until bed time almost every night.  I’m expecting to come home any day this week and find an assemblage of rock stars waiting for us in our living room, looking grave, each with a letter.

I know you’ve been a fan for a long time, Billy Corgan would say, but…you’ve tried to get a higher score on “G.L.O.W.” five times in the last twenty minutes.  Don’t do this.

Your pets have expressed concern, Slash would say from under his hair and top hat.  Your wife just keeps saying ‘I can do better’ over and over until she falls asleep on the couch. 

Please keep playing, Man From Foghat would say.  We need the royalties.  Skip dinner.  Play “Slow Ride” again, goddamn it.  AGAIN.

So, here we are.  There are approximately 400 books in this room that I haven’t read and endless piles of laundry upstairs that need washing, and yet, we are completely content to spend our Wii points on track packs and wonder what the next venue will be.  Curse you, Activision.  Curse you to hell. 

And, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.


~ by thismarriedguy on April 13, 2009.

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