Summertiiiiiiimmmmeee….and novel #2 is in the can.

I’m back, baby!

Perhaps I should say that with a cigarette hanging out of the corner of my mouth, in a dark office, with a gun in my pocket.  Because I’ve just finished writing the crime novel of my dreams.  🙂

Okay, maybe not – but I’m pretty happy with it.  It’s called Shell Trick, and it goes to agents/publishers next week.  Cross your fingers, scant-few readers.  What is it about, you ask?  Peep it  (also because I sense that Missy is a passionate but angry reader and might hurt me if I don’t):

Set in Chicago, Shell Trick is the story of Avery Conrad, a former law clerk who arrives for his job at a TV studio to find $100,000 waiting for him. Trouble is, he has no idea whom or where it came from, and when a fellow employee winds up dead as a result of his inquiry, Avery becomes a suspect in the killing, as well as a target for a group of high-stakes investors intent on manipulating the stock market. With Avery’s own checkered past coming back to haunt him, he has no choice but to put himself, his wife, and his best friend in danger in order to expose the company responsible…”

There’s your official query synopsis.  Pass it around, trade it with your friends, write it on a goddamned sandwich board and streak through an airport.  When I become a writer, I’m taking all of you with me.  New iPods for all!  (As faithful readers already know, I consider the iPod the highest form of token/gift/technology/friendship/artificial intelligence/modern anything.  So, you see now how much I like you, if you’re reading this?  You see?)

Speaking of iPods, here’s a new playlist.  I suppose its only relevance is that I shuffled it this morning while finishing the draft-one edits on Shell Trick. Download:

1. The Breeders – “Safari”
2. Green Day – “East Jesus Nowhere” (from the excellent new 21st Century Breakdown)
3.  The Smashing Pumpkins – “Rose March”
4. Beatles – “All My Loving”
5.  The Weepies – “Take It From Me”
6. Leonard Cohen – “Suzanne”
7. Lush – “For Love”
8. The Waxwings – “Clouded Over”
9. Curtis Mayfield – “If There’s Hell Below (We’re All Gonna Go)”
10. U2 – “In A Little While”
11.  Link Wray – “Rumble”

There.  Put that in your little iPipe and iSmoke it.

Look…I feel weird for not having posted in so long.  (Partly because Missy gave me shit about it in her last comment.  I’m a little bit afraid of Missy, but it’s a healthy fear, I think, much like fearing the Lord or Lou Pinella during the Cubs post-game press conferences after they lose.  Plus, she complimented my food, so if she ever wants to eat it again, she needs me alive.)  These longs stretches of nothing will change because now I’m all sheepish and apologetic and don’t wish to leave my own blog unattended for so long.  Therefore, I will close with three important bits of information:

1. The Printer’s Row Book Fair in Chicago demands that you cancel all of your engagements and/or appointments on the weekend of June 5-7.  It’s well worth your time.  You meet writers.  You buy books.  You meet writers who also buy books.  Perhaps those writers will buy YOU books.  But probably not.

2. Catherine and I just finished Jen Lancaster’s new book Pretty In Plaid, and it’s so funny that at one point I was laughing so hard I was coughing and when I went to open the book again, I fumbled it into a potted plant and soaked it.  The book was subsequently blow-dried, and still hilarious.  Buy it.

3. You’ve seen the “Dawn of the Dead” remake where the zombies can run and they’re all frenzied, and just tearing away at bodies like rabid animals, flinging spit and mess everywhere?

That’s how our cat Lolo treats olives.  I’ve never had a pet eat such a strange food.  She attacks our hands and will draw blood if she smells the juice.  She’ll take them right out of the jar.  She growls like a furry creature from Hell when anyone gets near her after she scores a chunk of spanish queen.  It’s very, very bizarre.  I think she has human intelligence, and I’m glad I don’t keep my tools in the house.

More soon.


~ by thismarriedguy on May 19, 2009.

3 Responses to “Summertiiiiiiimmmmeee….and novel #2 is in the can.”

  1. first, i’m very happy to have been mentioned so many times in this blog. i’m looking forward to the crime drama, but damn it, if i have to wait too long for the rest of ‘the catalyst’ i may pass out or something. i like that you’re afraid of me…i’m pretty terrifying 🙂

    also, cats and olives…be careful! lola loves them because they act sort of like cat nip to kitties, but the stuff they’re stored in can be very harmful to cats (depending on what it is). maybe check out what kind you buy and what the juices they’re stored in are made up of, so she doesn’t get sick. sorry bout ending everything in prepositional phrases…

  2. hahaha – I thought of that, Missy – every thing should be fine, assuming the ingredients are natural; we just have to watch the salt. She has to drink a lot of water if she eats an olive, basically. The catnip effect has something to do with the oil. …I like olives, but the oil doesn’t make me horny or anything, like it does with Lolo. It’s kind of disturbing, really.

    Also, you’re the most terrifying person I’ve ever met. I’m just kidding. I’m KIDDING. You’re pretty. And nice. And yeah, I’ll have Chris get on this whole Catalyst thing for you…

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